I Lost My Daughter, Then Found My Life’s True Calling
KANIKA ENERGY COACH > PODCAST AND MEDIA APPEARANCES
From the outside, my life looked perfect.
I had a master’s degree from a top business school. I was raising a beautiful 2-year-old boy, traveling often, and pregnant with my second child. On Facebook, it all looked like a highlight reel.
But inside, nothing was working. I had left my high-flying job to support my husband’s career, but I felt unappreciated and unloved. I was managing an Airbnb, but the property had structural issues. Every dollar I earned was going back into repairs and it still wasn’t enough.
I felt life couldn’t get any worse, but then the unthinkable happened. I lost my daughter at 31 weeks of pregnancy…
The next few days were a blur of heartbreak, as I gave birth to my stillborn daughter and saw her cremated.
I was a ghost of myself, crying constantly, moving through each day in a numb haze. Nothing in life held meaning anymore. Yet, there was no escape from pain. I even started contemplating suicide to end the agony.
But life can be an ironic teacher. My son was two years old then. He would see me crying and hand me a toy to cheer me up. And if that didn’t work, he’d bring me another. So, I’d pretend to smile to make him feel better. I’d watch him laugh at water drops, crinkling paper, leaves. Happiness came so easily to him.
And I’d wonder, when did I lose that? I decided that if I was going to stay alive, I’d learn how to be happy again. My son deserved a happy mum, and I was also getting tired of constantly feeling ‘small’.
For the first time in a long while, I desired a shift. I started praying to the Universe and asking my daughter to show me the way. That’s when I found energy work and the Akashic Records. Through them, I connected with my daughter’s soul.
I remember saying, “I’m so sorry I lost you.” And she responded, “You didn’t lose me. I didn’t come to be born. I came to wake you up.” Her words changed everything. I wasn’t meant to stay a living ghost, I was meant to rise and to live every day like the gift it truly is.
Her presence showed me how much I had been dimming my light, shrinking myself to keep the peace. But I wasn’t living, I was disappearing. She helped me heal my people-pleasing patterns and believe in my inherent self-worth. As I healed my inner world, my outer world began to change too.
I sold the property and found work where I was well-paid, happy and appreciated. I left my toxic marriage and bought a home to raise my son in peace. Eventually, I quit corporate for good—and stepped into my deeper calling as an Energy Coach, helping others rise into their truth and expansion.
Today, I help professionals and entrepreneurs unlock more joy, visibility, and soul-aligned success. My life looks like the highlight reel again, but this time, it’s rooted in truth. I wake up inspired, doing work I love, surrounded by incredible clients and community.
And here's what I now know for sure:
When I felt like my life had collapsed... that’s when my expansion began.
Where life feels the darkest is often where our deepest inner power lives.
(Originally published in She Rises Studio)
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