What is Love? Hint: It's Not a Feeling or an Emotion

Often, when people say "I love you," it can imply conditions—"I love you when you do this" and "I don't love you when you do that." But what is love, really? Let’s explore this by drawing inspiration from our natural surroundings.

We all live on Earth, and if you consider the love Mother Earth has for us, it’s clear that this love is unconditional. Whether you're happy, angry, successful, or struggling, the earth remains constant.

Similarly, the sun shines regardless of our circumstances, unconditionally sharing its warmth and light. There’s no condition for the sun to shine or for the earth to give us space to live.

The Essence of Pure Love

True love embodies this unconditional nature. It's the ability to simply be present, to offer compassion, and to care for others without expectations of how they should behave or react.

What is unconditional love? It’s love that remains steady, no matter the circumstances. Love is not a fleeting feeling or an intense emotion; love simply is.

When you genuinely love someone, you love them irrespective of their actions, age, appearance, or financial status.

Scientific Insights on Unconditional Love

Research in psychology supports the idea that unconditional love is not just a sentimental notion but a powerful force with real benefits. According to a study published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology, experiencing and expressing love can significantly reduce stress and enhance overall well-being. Oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone," is released during acts of love and bonding, promoting feelings of trust and emotional stability.

Additionally, studies have shown that people who practice unconditional love and compassion have lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and improved heart health. This suggests that love, in its truest form, can have profound effects on both mental and physical health.

Wisdom from Spiritual Leaders

Many spiritual leaders have spoken about the transformative power of unconditional love. The Dalai Lama once said, "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive." His teachings emphasize that unconditional love is a fundamental part of our existence and essential for personal and collective well-being.

Mother Teresa also exemplified this in her work, stating, "Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier." Her life was a testament to the power of loving without expecting anything in return, showing that even small acts of love can have a significant impact.

Practicing Love Towards All

Not all of us grew up receiving pure, unconditional love, but that doesn’t mean we can’t practice it now. Whether it’s with your children, family, friends, or even strangers, you can express love without conditions. This doesn’t mean it’s easy. I find it simple to say "I love you" to people I naturally like and much harder to say it to those who differ greatly from me.

Yet, practicing this universal love is transformative. It’s about acknowledging that everyone is on their own journey and having compassion for their path without trying to change it.

In a metaphorical sense, even saying "I love you" to a demon means recognizing that the demon has its own path and journey. You don’t need to control or change someone else’s path; that’s their own to walk.

Personal Story

For instance, I had a touching experience with my son recently. He spilled water in the bathroom and felt very upset about making a mess. While cleaning together, he lamented his "thousand mistakes" and felt undeserving of my love. Later, I talked to him, assuring him that no matter how many mistakes he makes, I will always love him.

This conversation made me reflect—had anyone ever said this to me? The truth is, you don’t need someone else to affirm your worthiness of love. Your body and mind can create those feelings from within. Tell yourself, "I love you even if you make a thousand mistakes," and mean it.

You are deserving of love, just as the earth and the sun never abandon you despite your faults.

Celebrity Examples

Consider celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and Keanu Reeves, known for their expressions of unconditional love and compassion. Oprah has famously spoken about self-love and forgiveness, emphasizing the importance of being kind to oneself no matter the mistakes.

Keanu Reeves, often in the spotlight for his kind gestures and humble nature, embodies living with compassion and presence without expecting anything in return.

Cultivating Self-Love

Loving yourself despite your imperfections is essential for personal growth. You came to this earth to evolve, and mistakes are inherent in that process. Letting go of the idea of perfection can free you to embrace yourself as you are, flaws and all.

Love yourself unconditionally, and if you have the strength, extend that love to everyone around you. This doesn't mean attaching strings or trying to change others; it’s about seeing and acknowledging them, allowing them the space to be themselves.

Similarly, understanding self love means accepting yourself fully, giving yourself the space to grow and be happy, just as you are. When you accept yourself, you create room for your own growth and happiness, without the pressure of perfection.

Conclusion

Thank you for joining me on this exploration of love. My challenge to you is to find one moment each day to practice unconditional love—whether it’s a kind word to a stranger, forgiveness for a friend, or compassion for yourself.

If you're wondering how to love yourself unconditionally, start by offering yourself the same kindness and understanding you give others.

Let’s create a ripple effect of love that transforms our lives and the world around us.

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